Please leave feeback here! All comments welcome!
0 Kudo
Feedback: "The Brotherhood"
| Author | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 skyroom80 |
Feedback: "The Brotherhood" |
Lead | |
|
Posts: 756 (10/10/07 1:15 AM) Member |
|
||
|
JaneDtwo |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 1534 (10/10/07 10:01 AM) A-Dohring Fan |
Wow. There are so many things I liked about this:
1. The insight into Josef's psyche -- just a hint, really, because it's a complex and busy one. 400 years of survival would do that. 2. The missing on that brotherhood with Mick. I find their relationship fascinating. What brought them together in the first place? I can see Mick sort of getting under Josef's wing as a novice vampire would with someone with vast experience. But what drew Josef to Mick? Surely there are plenty of novice vampires (well, plenty enough) and Josef doesn't strike me as "take them under your care and teach them" type. 3. Blood-letting = sex. And sharing. It's a very sensual thing, and it's stressed as such on the show. And you tapped into that very well. 4. Hypnosis! That's a rather inginious way of solving the problem I personally had with Josef having all those mortal concubines just lounging around! For someone so paranoid about being outed as a vampire, I couldn't reconsile the fact that he wouldn't just kill these women after feeding on them, if simply to preserve his anonymity. But this explains it very nicely! I can't wait to see where you are taking this. Great start! |
||
|
daria103 |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 677 (10/10/07 10:14 AM) Konstantin Concubine |
You're posting fic yay! I knew you'd get there before me (I can't write to save my life lol). I only got a chance to browse it, damn work, but I'm loving the look of it and JaneD's feedback has me even more excited to read it properly. Anyway, I'll be back to leave real feedback after work. I'm so excited to get home now and sit down and enjoy this, only 1 hour to go.
I loved it, great first chapter. I can't wait to read more. I can't really think of anything to say that JaneD hasn't already said better, I echo all the points she made for why this fic is great. I loved the insight into Josef's thoughts, especially about how Mick used to drink from mortals too. I thought the 80's flashback was one of the most interesting insights into Mick's history that we've seen so far and I loved how you incorporated it and added an extra dimension with Josef's thoughts and feelings on the loss of that Mick. I'm looking forward to reading more of this, I can't wait to see where you take it. |
||
|
skyroom80 |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 756 (10/10/07 7:53 PM) Member |
JaneDtwo, you are a fiction writer's dream reviewer. Except for a local friend who acts as a beta for me, you are one of very few who give concrete ideas and opinions. Thanks. And you've given me a few ideas to use in the next chapter!
 About the hypnotism. In the next few episodes the audience will probably find out what Josef does to his girls and I'll end up being way off base. lol But, it intrigued and bothered me, too, not knowing.Daria, I didn't know you wrote fan-fic! I'd love to read anything you've done.  I don't see either Mick or Josef as gay. I'm trying to get across what two men who are each other's best friends -- and immortal beings -- may share.As importantly, I'm intrigued by Josef's women. |
||
|
JaneDtwo |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 1534 (10/10/07 10:12 PM) A-Dohring Fan |
Quote: Thank you! I write fanfic myself (well, I wrote for VM anyway, still kind of do), and I know that the sort of feedback I want the most is the one that's specific. As nice as it is to get "I like your story very much," it's a lot more helpful to hear why. LOL. I'm glad I could help with ideas, and don't worry about being off base. With ongoing shows it happens often, but the best fanfics, I find, are those that not necessarily follow canon to the letter, but rather embody its spirit. Which yours does. |
||
|
skyroom80 |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 756 (10/11/07 12:04 PM) Member |
Quote: I should have guessed that, and don't know why I didn't. Would you tell me where I can find some of your fics? I don't think I've read any of them but if you used a different nickname? |
||
|
JaneDtwo |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 1534 (10/11/07 12:28 PM) A-Dohring Fan |
Quote: LOL. I do. I'm "hiddeneloise" on LJ. Here's the link, should you be interested: community.livejournal.com/veronicamarsfic/tag/hiddeneloise |
||
|
daria103 |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 677 (10/11/07 12:40 PM) Konstantin Concubine |
Thanks Skyroom, I didn't write fic up until about two months ago. I'm kind of just testing the waters at the moment, I'm not very good but it's a bit of fun.
Quote: Sorry I didn't mean to imply that in my feedback, I don't see them as gay either. I guess I just meant that in canon, finding out Mick used to be a vampire like Josef is the most interesting piece of his history so far. I think you added another layer to that by exploring what Josef thought and felt about losing that version of Mick to the new compassionate version. It made me start thinking about how that could be explored, in this fic and in canon, like will we see Josef's initial reaction to the change in Mick's personality? how did their friendship survive that change? What was so special about Mick that Josef wants to bring him back to that life rather than just finding a new friend to do this with? The fact that you have me wondering about these things, not just in the fic but in canon also, has me so excited about reading more. |
||
|
skyroom80 |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 756 (10/12/07 12:43 AM) Member |
Quote: No. No worries! I know you weren't implying that. I guess I was just trying to say that, as immortals, Josef and Mick may have a friendship that transcends the fleeting moments with the girls. If that makes sense? Anyway ... when you have a fnfic you are willing to share -- I'd love to read it! Quote: I'm reading "There is a War." I hadn't read anything of yours. When I've finished I'll add comments. So far -- like it a lot. And am seeing similarities in how we both viewwd those two, even if how we approached it was different. Thanks for letting me know about your writing! |
||
|
daria103 |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 677 (10/12/07 6:53 AM) Konstantin Concubine |
Quote: Definitely, it makes total sense. I've always felt that all the best vampire movies have implied some deep connection between vampires. I think you've captured that really well. Quote: Thanks. I'm starting off with VM one shots, I can't really find a realistic voice for Josef yet. Hopefully someday I'll have something not too terrible to post lol. |
||
|
JaneDtwo |
Re: Feedback: "The Brotherhood" 1/? | ||
|
Posts: 1534 (10/12/07 10:56 AM) A-Dohring Fan |
[quote]I'm reading "There is a War." I hadn't read anything of yours. When I've finished I'll add comments. So far -- like it a lot. And am seeing similarities in how we both viewwd those two, even if how we approached it was different. Thanks for letting me know about your writing![/quote]
Oh, no, thank you! LOL. Honestly, I hope you don't get bored. :) I started writing this one before all hell broke loose, and it was one of the hardest things to finish for me, because things looked so bad on the show. However, I glanced at it lately, and it didn't make me ill. So, I guess I didn't paralize myself as a fic writer. Thank you for giving it a chance! ***** "The Brotherhood" 2! Wow. That has gotten much darker fast! And I like it. :) Something about not sugarcoating who they are appeals to me. They are vampires, they are not cuddly by nature. And Josef didn't get to survive and prosper for 400 years by struggling with scruples. I like the glimpse into the back history, the days after Mick started wrestling with his newly-awakened sense of guilt, and especially what Josef felt about it. I also like it that you make it clear that, though he loves Mick as his best -- and posibly only -- friend, he will not hesitate to sacrifice him should the need arise. I forcee Josef not relishing this whole budding closeness between Mick and Beth. Mick has already exposed them more than is probably wise. I am very intrigued right now to see where you are taking this. Thank you. |
||
Add Reply
- Main Discussion
- Jason Dohring Related Fun & Games
- 'Moonlight' General Discussion
- Television (Miniseries & Guest/Recurring Roles)
- Movies (Past and Future Roles)
- Off-Topic Discussion
- Fun & Games
- Rules & Guidelines
- 'A-Dohring Crowd' Community Corner
- Fanfiction
- Fanfiction Feedback
- Music -- Videos, Fanmixes, etc.
- Fanart
- The Classics
- Press (Print & Online)
- Images
- Press and Fan Events
